People that live in houses on foundations receive those monthly household bills - electric, water, gas, sewer, garbage pickup, cable and telephone. After years of living in a house people don't study those bill, they just pay them. We travel fulltime in a motorhome so we don't have those bills but we do indirectly pay them as campground fees.

We needed to stop traveling for a few months for medical reasons and decided to get telephone service for local calls and to surf the internet. Ameritech serves the community of Clarksville, Indiana where we are staying in a KOA Kampground. Linda called them and explained we wanted the cheapest plan available with no frills, no call waiting, no call forwarding, not even a long distance carrier. We will use our cell phone with no long distance charges and no roaming fees for long distance calls.

Our telephone bill arrived from Ameritech and we decided to study the bill and break it down in detail to make sure we were not charged for features we don't want. The charge for the phone line was $13.17 a month but the total monthly bill was $22.48. How could that be? We were charged $9.31 in taxes and fees - an extra 70.7% in taxes and fees. Here is a breakdown of those charges and how Ameritech explained them. The words in parenthesis are mine and not Ameritech's.

Federal Access Charge ($5.67) - (Ameritech did not explain. I understand the money is retained by the local phone company in co-operation with long distance carriers in exchange for them to lower their rates. We did not want a long distance carrier but we still have to pay this charge.)

911 Emergency Service ($1.25) - A state charge that supports the cost of providing 911 emergency service.

State Tax ($ .98) - Indiana state tax.

Federal Tax ($ .59) - Federal government tax.

Federal Universal Service Fee ($ .43) - Federal program to help pay for poor peoples' telephones and help pay where phone service is expensive. Also, helps put internet access in schools, libraries, rural hospitals and nursing homes. (This was the Al Gore bill. He made his speech that he invented the internet and wanted it in all schools, hospitals, libraries and nursing homes. Then it was discovered schools, hospitals and libraries already had internet access and nursing homes didn't want it. The Al Gore bill was never rescinded.)

Number Portability Surcharge ($ .28) - Allows customers to keep their phone number if they switch to another local carrier. (Only problem is there is no other local carrier here.)

Telecommunications Relay System ($ .07) - (Ameritech did not explain this fee. I understand it pays for special equipment for deaf people and the hard of hearing.)

Monthly Service Charge ($ .04) - (Ameritech did not explain this charge. I guess it adds to their profit.)

It is amazing how a simple single telephone line can have 70.7 percent in taxes and fees added to it. Luckily for us we will only have the phone line a few months. We feel sorry for the people living in houses, apartments and condos who will pay those charges for years.